Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in x0_brittanyyy's LiveJournal:

Monday, June 23rd, 2008
7:49 pm	123.5  So I haven't updated this bitch in  awhile. LOTS has happened.  First off, got my septum pierced and my braces off. Horrible picture, no makeup, but yeah.. you get the idea. I got a job at Zellers, then quit because the manager was a fucking ASSHOLE. I honestly can't handle older people who treat younger people like shit. Just because I'm young, doesn't mean shit. The older people there were so fucking rude, and it was boring as hell. So yep. I quit. I quit everything. Who the fuck cares. Hmm. What else! Oh, I'm all set up for school in September. Oh, I had an EXLAX adventure. This is a good pooping story. So one night, I took 6 exlax, they didn't kick in, so the next night, I took 4 more. I figured they wouldn't kick in before 5(when I got off work), and they didn't. so I decided to go try on a skirt.. when I literally thought I was about to shit myself in the changing room. I had to get outta there. But suddenly the feeling went away, so off the the bookstore! I seen a book I really wanted, grabbed in, stood in line.. didn't even get a cramp, just felt like my asshole.. no matter how tight I held it together, shit was about to seep out. lmfao. So i had to throw the fucking book down, sprint to the public mall bathroom, which was too crowded. so then it was off to work(public bathrooms) people in there as well.. staff bathrooms, one girl on her break.. so I had to run down to the opposite end of the mall to the grocery store.. two old ladies in there. finally i ended up running thru Sears, and finding a bathroom with NO ONE in it. i was literally sitting on the fucking toilet saying "thank you Sears" hahaha. anyways yeah. i dont wanna hear anyone bitch about exlax anymore. lmao. thats the closest ive EVER came to shitting myself. im gunna finish updating later. i have videos and pictures from this weekend. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 6th, 2008
2:15 pm	121.5 Ok, finally I feel like updating, haha. WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK: i had the flu all week i couldnt go to work on my FIRST fucking day i got in a fight with the "new boy", but now its fine So yeah, thats about it. I was just to lazy to put that in a paragraph.  I'm so hungry right now. I might get something to eat before work tonight, but of course I'll purge it. I need to go get ready for work, then eat, purge, starbucks, and then finally work. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 5th, 2008
6:03 pm	122.5!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So, I had the flu all week. Blahhhh. But oh well cause I lost weight. I work tomorrow. I'll update later when I actually want to be updating. I suck today. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 31st, 2008
4:55 pm	124.5 I met the most amazing boy ever. I can't even explain how I feel about him. For once, I'm not rushing it, and I'm not even worried about the future. I tell him everything. I'm crazy about him. He knows about my eating disorder and everything, and he cares so much. Everything a girl feels about a guy, he tells me he feels like that even before I say anything about how I feel. And he's not like a smooth talker.. its the small things he says. I have never felt this way before. I'm scared, but excited, and nervous, and so so happy. Today he told me I was his best friend, and that when I call him at 4am, he loves to hear .. brb. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 25th, 2008
7:29 pm	I HATE PEOPLE! Ughhh.. I'm so fucking annoyed with everything right now. I'm massive. I have no friends. And I feel like shit. I don't know why I feel so crappy. Oh well. I dyed my hair. It now has a bit of blonde thru out it. I'll take pictures later. I'm honestly not even in the mood to be blogging right now because I'm cranky. Sometimes I wish I had someone that cared about me. I know I have my family, but really, no one else.  (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
12:21 am	125.0 yeaaaaaaaaaaah  (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
1:18 am	3 DAY FAST Started an hour and a half ago, midnight. I'm just going to bed now, so I thought I'd update until then.  UPDATE: OMG OMG OMG. I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW. My toilet is fucking broke, and no one can "poop" until tomorrow. So before it was broke, I took 6 extra strength Exlax.. and they are going to kick in soon. I don't know what I am going to fucking do. Seriously. What the fuck am I going to do? Shit in the fucking shower? Ugh.. whatever I have to do, it's not going to be pretty. Ok, now my mom just came in and told me she's going to get the piece for the toilet tonight. But that doesn't mean it's going to work. Pray for me. Hahaha, I really don't want to shit in a bag tonight. :( I'm 128.5lbs right now. GROSS. That's how much I am, starting the fast. I'm going to go grab a glass of water and lay around. Blahhh. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 18th, 2008
1:15 pm	UGHHH I don't even know what I weigh right now. The other night, after I got down to 123.5, I binged and fell asleep, then I ended up 126.5. then I binged 2 more times, but purged it. The second time, I don't think I got it all, I'm really not sure. I was all high on xanax, and I was sleepy. I was going to go back to see if there was any more left, but I fell asleep. I shouldn't be over 127.0, hopefully. I took 4 exlax last night to empty myself out again. Ugh, I'm so frustrated with food lately. I want to fast, but I want to binge. So I am going to have a BINGE SATURDAY, then fast all the other days. So I can look forward to binging on Saturday. Wooo. This just might work. It's sunday now, so fasting it is. So today I'm just going to lay around, watch ED movies, and nap. Then I plan to knock myself out with pills later so I can sleep thru the time I like to binge at night. Hopefully those exlax get me down to 123.0 or so. Anyways, coffee time for me! (Comment on this)
Friday, May 16th, 2008
7:06 pm	123.5  After I'm done cleaning, which will hopefully be very soon, I'm going to the store to get cake and maybe some other goodies. Yum Yum. Then off to Dairy Queen for some ice cream. yummmmmmmmmmmmmy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 15th, 2008
3:53 pm	127.0 lbs Down from 130! Woo! I can't even fast this week now because of my fucking mom. She is off work for a week, so she's going to be home 24/7. Plus the fact that I just ordered a large pizza, garlic fingers, and cinnasticks. Yeahhhh. I'm a pig.  UPDATE: OH MY GOD. THANK YOU EXLAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM 123.5LBS NOW! I binged and purged twice today, but oh well. Exlax took care of that. :) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
10:17 am	OMFG I FAILED. I FUCKING FAILED!!!! Everything was going fine, then last night, I took my pills so I could sleep, and it all went to hell. I don't even want to step on that fucking scale. I feel like fucking shit. I feel like never eating again, but of course I say that now. Everytime I take my pills(I'm bipolar), I want to binge.. and it REALLY sucks because I can't sleep without them. Ughh. I don't know what to do. I will hopefully not eat today, but I'll update later. I'm pissed off at myself right now.  UPDATE: I want to fucking die right now. First off, I didn't fast. Second, I asked my mom to bring me home a cake, and she made it seem like a big hassle. So I said fuck it, I'm not going to eat. She goes on vacation in 2 days. She can watch me fade away infront of her very eyes. I told her I'm not eating. She can't force me. I'm considering this a hunger strike, until she says the words "I'm sorry", which will doubtfully happen. She was bitching about the house being a mess. So I'm going to clean the whole house. I need to make a "TO DO" list so I can get it all straightened out. I'm not going to be nice tomorrow. I'm not even going to talk to her. The only reason I'm cleaning is to shut her the fuck up. Not to make her happy. Fuck that. TOMORROW'S TO DO LIST dishes put clothes away laundry vaccum dust stairs clean toilet I'm going to go take my pills now so that I can go to sleep. I need to wake up early tomorrow to start cleaning. Ughhh. My life completely sucks right now. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
7:36 pm	Hmmm.. I finally got around to getting one of these things. I need to be able to keep track of things. So, here I am. :) I started a fast today. I have no clue how much I weigh right now, I don't even want to know. I'm not going to weigh myself until tomorrow morning. I'm taking laxatives tonight to get everything out of me. I feel disgusting. Hopefully, I can fast for a week or two. Last weekend, me and my EX started talking again, everything was going good. The girl he was seeing, broke it off with him, but as soon as me and him started hanging out everyday, she wanted him back. He played headgames with us both. So she can have him. I don't want that shit. She told me all the shit he told her about me, that I'm crazy, bulimic, ugly, etc.. But you should see this girl, shes disgusting. She's at least 190lbs. She's a huge bitch, so he can have fun getting treated like shit by her. He deserves it. I don't even want to eat because of everything that happened. I want him to see me waste away, and know that it's because of him. And I want that fucking bitch to envy me cause I have control, and she's a fat pig. FUCK THEM. I had an interview at Zellers today, it went good, they said they'll call me in the next few days. So after my interview, I went into the mall. I needed  more laxatives, so I stole a 48 pack. I also stole two bikini's, a size 0 skirt from american eagle, a tshirt, and two necklaces. Then I bought a dress from american eagle. I can't wait to be able to look good in those bikini's. If I get this job, which I hopefully will, it went really good. I need some things I need to buy. THINGS TO BUY  laxatives diet pills new scale tanning hair trimmed nails done new shoes I'm so excited to have money again. I'm so poor. I need to look fucking hot this summer, and i WILL. I MUST! (2 Comments |Comment on this)